Strange language from France


Here's an advertisement for a 'new race of hotels' in Paris. The 'race' so far numbers only two, but both are just ten minutes away from the 'Arc of Triumph.' Facilities offered include 'a thalassotherapeutlaue beth with a multijet shower system' and 'a private bar close to a log fire in the chimney.' There are 'Special conditions for weekends end groups,' and we are assured that 'Breakfast end buffet are unagalised quality and quantity for 30 F 45 F.' The management proudly announces that 'Our warm welcome end the décor transporte you into Royal France at the Ordinater Age' and that 'Our devise takes on its full meaning in these conditions »ALWAYS TO SERVE YOU BETTER«.'

 

More fronglé now, this time in the form of a note from the "surgery s' office" of a hospital in the French Alps:

"You have a plaster. During fosty eight hours it is advisableto let you limb raised high and to watch it carefully that.

1º) You do not feel a strong pain and your limbs kepps to be sensitive.

2º) No inflation (distension), no change of the color of the skin appear

3º) Coming from the plaster, there is not a fetid smell

4º) There is not blood smear coming out of the inside of the plaster

If it occurs any of these abnormality or else, go and see your Doctor or come back here to the hospital."

 

If you do happen to notice a fetid smell or two, just reach for the nearest bottle of Chanel Antaeus: "restrained, square-shaped, elegant. A virile scent, both simple and complex, expresses a new dimension of man, strong and poetic."

 

Source: Professional Translator & Interpreter, No 1, 1992